"It’s been fantastic, It’s gonna be tough going onto my next film, because I’m so spoiled on this. It’s just been such a wonderful collaborated experience and very satisfying as an actor." -Chris Evans on Making of Snowpiercer [x]
In 48 hours we will have an iced Chris Evans video. God is real.
steve rogers + cards against humanity (insp.)
Hey, thunderboltsortofapenny, for your consideration -
President America and the ALS ice bucket challenge.
"We have an image problem."
"We do not have an image problem, Nat."
"We do. AP says we do, Clint’s polls say we do, Joey Lucas says we do, and I say we do.” Natasha says. “We had good numbers after the State of the Union, better when the hate crimes bill passed, and phenomenal numbers over the summer-“
"Shocking, truly." Bucky replied dryly. Natasha gave him a cool look and continued.
"Numbers we didn’t use, and numbers that are rapidly falling as we head into the new Congressional year, and into midterms." Bucky groans, pinching the bridge of his nose
"Not as bad as it might be in a month. We’re losing the Boomers again, while males over 35, the Midwest is pissed off about the trade agreement, even the 18-35s are slipping."
"The trade agreement was happening whether we wanted it or not, I mean we want it, but it was gonna-"
"James. You are interrupting." Bucky snapped his jaw shut and looked back to Natasha, the perfect face of innocence.
"As I was saying, our numbers are getting less than satisfactory. We need something, something small, calm down, I’m not advocating a policy change. But we need something that will capture our energy from the campaign, while appealing to the older demographics that don’t care for the gung-ho social media platforms we use.”
"Okay." Bucky paused. "What do you have in mind?"
"We’ve been challenged to a dare."
They show the plan to Clint first, who naturally agrees before Nat can even pull up the video. Tony isn’t consulted; Pepper smiles and says to leave it to her. Bruce balks, until Bucky pulls MJ into the office to made sad faces at him until Banner finally gives in.
"You know you have to do this too." Bucky says as they finish filling in the assistants on the plan. "Senior Staff includes the Press Secretary."
Natasha stops, considering the information. Looks down at her suit, and her shoes.
"Jemma!" Natasha’s assistant pokes her head out of the bullpen. "Send someone to get my gym bag from the locker room? Oh and I’m going to need you to do something in about an hour." Jemma’s already on the phone with someone as Nat turns back to Bucky.
"Just for that, you have to convince him to do it on your own, Bucky." She grins as she walks into her office.
"-and then we challenge three people to do the same." The President doesn’t respond, just plays the video again.
"And Thor did this?"
"And named us."
"Named you, actually. And someone named Gerald." The President has to muffle a grin at Bucky’s tone.
"Yeah, why not? It’ll be fun."
"It will not be fun."
"That’s because you don’t know who I’m nominating."
"Okay." Larry says. "Rolling in three, two, one."
"Hello my fellow Americans," Steve says, grinning at the camera. "Recently, the ALS Association issued an awareness campaign entitled the Ice Bucket Challenge where individuals are challenged to have a bucket of ice water dumped over their heads, or donate a hundred dollars to help Strike Out ALS. Well, citizens, I was personally challenged by Ambassador Thor Odinson of Asgard, and I thought I should enlist the help of my staff.”
Steve grins even wider as the camera zooms out to show Clint, Bruce, Steve, Bucky, Tony and Natasha all lined up in chairs on the Rose Garden patio. The men have chosen to save their jackets and are in shirtsleeves, and Bruce’s silk tie is also in a safe place. Natasha’s Jimmy Choos are in her office.
"Now, we’ve all made personal donations to the ALS Association, and the White House will meet the hundred dollar donation. Unfortunately, the White House cannot donate more than that, due to impartiality and some number of laws the Attorney General has promised me are very important." Clint snorts.
"We also thought this would be a great opportunity for our staff to blow off some steam, so each senior staffer, and myself, will be bucket-ed by our aides and assistants. Gentlemen, Lady, now is the time to grovel." Steve says.
Tony shoots Pepper his “I’m adorable and you love me and I will buy you many many shoes” smile as she walks up behind him with the bucket. Her smile is less “you are and I do and I want red slingbacks” and much more “you’re a dead man.” MJ lines up behind Bruce and gives him an apologetic smile. Skye grins like it’s Christmas as she grips the bucket tighter behind Clint. Jemma pre-emptively apologizes to Natasha, Lorraine smirks and winks at Bucky, and Peter solemnly steps up behind Steve with his bucket.
Steve smiles, as if he’s about to get free ice cream instead of a ten-gallon bucket of ice water in his face.
"So America, this is President Rogers an-"
"NOW!" Peter yells as he tips the bucket over Steve’s head mid-speech.
"COLD COLD COLD!!!!" Clint yells.
"HOLY-ssshhhhhhhh" Tony yelps
"OH WOW NOT-NOT OKAY" Bruce shouts.
Natasha makes an abortive groan of dismay but doesn’t say anything
"Ffffffffuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ir chance to run now" Bucky manages to say as ice slides down his back.
Steve laughs. Tony glares at him in disbelief.
"May you step on a hundred Legos, Mr. President." he mutters. Bucky and Bruce both shake their heads back and forth, throwing cold water everywhere. Steve schools his features again, but can’t quite keep a sharp grin off his face.
"And now, per the rules, I nominate Philip Coulson, Sam Wilson, and Senator Alexander Pierce for the Ice Bucket Challenge."
The video cuts out just as Bucky starts laughing.
I will never be over the “You’re keeping the outfit, right?” scene.
Bucky leans to Steve, winks, and asks: “You’re keeping the outfit, right?”
If there’s a heterosexual explanation for that scene, I don’t particularly want to hear it.
I love Steve Rogers, but I keep having to add a disclaimer every time I write meta because “I love Steve Rogers, but.”
I love my version of Steve Rogers, who fought in WWII and saw the same shit that other WWII vets saw, and who didn’t need to be put on ice to be protected from the sin of being a citizen of a country that dropped the atomic bomb on Japan. I love my version of MCU Steve Rogers, even though he’s not quite as “social justice-y” as the prevailing fandom interpretation of Steve Rogers. I love a Steve Rogers who is quick to anger, slow to forgive, and too stubborn to recognize when he’s being kind of a hypocrite. I love Steve Rogers who led a racially diverse squad of soldiers and who presumably did his best to check his privilege, and recognized that he was not a greater authority on race and racism than his Japanese-American and African-American compatriots. I love Steve Rogers who suspected that the Japanese-American interment camps were a bad thing, but never made an effort or thought it was his place to tell FDR that it was wrong and a stain on America. I love a Steve Rogers who actually shuts up and respects someone else’s moral authority. I love a Steve Rogers who needs to be told to shut up and respect someone else’s moral authority. I love a Steve Rogers who is actually a little bit sexist — about as much as any man who tries to respect women and be an ally, yet was raised in a sexist society. I love my version of Steve Rogers who is attracted to physically strong, physically capable women. I love my version of Steve Rogers who hated being the little guy and who tried to enlist five times because he did have something to prove. I love my version of Steve Rogers who doesn’t get politically active except as it affects his job, as an Avenger and as a SHIELD operative. I love my version of Steve Rogers who takes care of his friends and stands up for the little guys against bullies, and who hates racism and sexism and homophobia, but who doesn’t protest at rallies the way I can imagine social worker Sam Wilson doing, considering we have never seen Steve Rogers do anything remotely like hold up a sign. I love my version of Steve Rogers who would/should get yelled at by advocacy groups for not doing enough for
mutantsoppressed minorities. I love my version of Steve Rogers who hates being the moral authority, and yet has such faith in his own judgement and understanding of right and wrong that he could never substitute someone else’s beliefs for his own. I love my Steve Rogers, who is just different enough from the rest of fandom’s Steve Rogers that I may need to start using Tumblr Savior.
Headcanon accepted. For a more complex Steve Rogers 2k14!
Bucky Barnes—Winter Soldier— villain or a fallen hero? [x]
this guy is a guardian of the galaxy
I feel safer already